
For all intents and purposes, there is no you. You, as most people understand the term, do not exist. Whatever you think you are is merely a fabrication, a revolving door of fragmentary selves cut off from the essence.
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First, let us define it. Metanoia is change of heart, change of mind, spiritual conversion, repentance, correction, experiencing a psychological breakdown followed by a re-building. Clearly, it’s a potent word. Dangerous too… not only in the pursuit of metanoia but in its absence.
On a number of occasions, I’ve talked about how important it is to get out of your own way. Just as we’ve also discussed the ego and how it often goes overboard. Self-justification goes far and runs deep with a strong identity. Knowing who you are is an important piece of the puzzle. Satanists and those following the Left Hand Path usually pride themselves on having a rigid and concrete vision of themselves. But is that really a good thing? How does identity differ from identification? Identification relates to the mechanics of life which we get caught up in day to day. Identity refers to the mechanics of who we are. From that perspective, we can see that identity is an insidious form of identification. We take who we are for granted and accept that it is our identity which needs to Awaken. This could not be further from the truth!
Identity is not essence. Identity is not who we truly are. Identity is that layer just below the surface which does not switch masks like the layer above, but is itself the ultimate mask! Let me give you an example. Visualize a sucker or lollipop. Can you picture it in your mind? Ok, that’s us.
A sucker has a wrapper over the top of it which protects it from the world. That wrapper represents all our many ‘I’s or masks which we involuntarily put on, take off, and put on again. They change so easily that oftentimes we never notice the various surface aspects of ourselves are trading places with each other. When the red wrapper is on our sucker then we act one way. When the blue wrapper is on our sucker, we act another.
Fourth Way practitioners, those students who belong to a 4th Way school such as the Cult of Cthulhu, have learned about the wrapper… the competing ‘I’s which take control of the sucker as they wish. Beneath all those wrappers is the sucker itself. It’s hard, sweet, and shiny. Very alluring, very tasty! This is our identity – who we think we are. However, this is only the next layer. Little do Cultists realize that this is also a false self. Sure, it is a bit more “real” or substantial than the wrapper because it’s less transitory. That shell almost never moves. It actually believes that it’s the end all, be all… the real deal. Yet, this is not the whole story.
Our identity dictates our beliefs which dictates our decisions which dictates our behavior. Identity is actually the greatest mask of them all because it is always in place and giving orders! Since it is never removed, Fourth Way students assume that is where essence lies. Not by a long shot! We are the way we are because that’s just the way we are. Change, the kind of change I’m talking about – metanoia – can only be achieved if we realize that identity itself must be overcome. That means a re-evaluation of everything we are. Such metanoia can alter beliefs, decisions, and behavior.
The third layer is the small chewy center below the candy shell. It’s extremely difficult to see as the sucker is virtually opaque… even if one can remove the wrapper. But if you look close, then you will see it. The core down deep, below the immovable mask. Self study and super efforts make the sucker semi-transparent. So what is it? This soft innermost self is real, malleable, and even quite vulnerable… which is one reason why a candy shell and wrapper exist in the first place. The most effective work results from tapping into the small chewy center. Aim to Awaken essence, not the false outer layers. I say again, identity is not essence – identity obscures essence!
If identity is the enemy, then how shall it be destroyed? An excellent question! By not doing what we ordinarily do. By going beyond our everyday mode of operating. Re-programing! Engage the world in a new way, become a new being, cleanse oneself in the green slime of the void. See things differently. Use new language. Meet new people. Try new hobbies. Watch something you normally wouldn’t. Do something you normally wouldn’t… something completely out of character. Visit a foreign land. Let go of your issues. Release old grievances. Read strange books. Laugh at yourself. Try to focus on the illusions all around us and inside us. The false self is all we ever know, so break out of your shell. Become an unfamiliar person. Use your individuality to surprise those who know you best. Revel in that which is opposite to your usual personality. Do some soul searching in order to come up with ways you can utterly change who you are for the better. Hey, as long as you’re going to become different… might as well be an improvement on the old model, right?
I hope the sucker illustration drove my point home. Since you’ve been made aware of this new “terror of the situation” I believe you understand that action must be taken. For those who are brand-new to this system, brought to the west by Gurdjieff and then spread throughout the world by his disciples such as Ouspensky, it might not seem like a shock. However, those who have been intimately involved in The Work need to come to terms with the fact that their struggles have been continually stymied by adherence to a machine lurking below the mechanical facade we’ve all been struggling to override. You wonder why Crystallization hasn’t taken place? It’s probably because you haven’t broken through your identity yet. Intuitively, I’ve realized the hideous truth and have acted upon it for some time. Tonight, I reveal the details of self-mastery which might just lead you to Godhood. Yes, now you know almost all my secrets. This is the time for metanoia if ever there was one. Make it happen, my brothers and sisters!
It would most likely take years for a 4th Way practitioner to fully grasp the enormity of this distinction on his own… without the benefit of a teacher. This is why I recommend finding a Master, like myself, who is willing and able to guide students through the perilous labyrinth of esotericism. Those interested in Awakening should consider joining the Cult of Cthulhu.
Awake!
Venger As’Nas Satanis
Ipsissimus
Cult of Cthulhu
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Wonderful essay. As one who believes in cleansing or as i call it purging oneself daily i completely agree with this. Do not remain stagnant otherwise you become a sitting duck and easy prey. Constantly strive for excellence and new thoughts, move in a forward direction and dig deep inside your being to discover your self. This is the way to enlightment, one of many, but it is a way. There is a saying that you can not stand to gain anything until you lose everything.
There would seem to me to be a contradiction in the notion of a Left-Hand Path Cthulhu Cult. For how can one believe that godhood is possible in a universe as vast and hostile as ours, in which “the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear.” Everything in this cosmos disappears, so to believe that creatures as feeble as we may achieve godhood seems totally at odds with both reality and with Lovecraft’s Cosmicist philosophy — self-deification sounds almost Christian in its impossible idealism.
I do believe a religion based on the revelations of the prophet Lovecraft is possible, but that it should recruit its members less among the addle-brained occultists and more among the scientific and technological elites. For today it is the scientists who are the leading Cosmicists. If you listen to Dawkins, Deutsch and Hawking, you’ll hear them describing a Lovecraftian universe – a godless, hyper-dimensional space of incomprehensible vastness and strangeness, in which astrophysical annihilation on an unimaginable scale mocks our utter insignificance here on this iota called Earth. This is the feel I believe a truly Lovecraftian religion should have, rather than simply a rebranding of Satanic power fantasies.
Now, a truly Cosmicist cult might not be as sexy as a Satanic cult with green tentacle motifs, but I believe it would speak the cosmic truth, and could attract a certain breed of follower who find in its stark teachings something darkly beautiful and awe-inspiring. At least, this is my vision for a religion I am calling “Cosmism”, which combines elements of Cosmicism, Gnosticism, Cosmology, Dark Jediism, Taoism, Chaos Magic and Satanism. It might even have “Dark” and “Light” varieties, the latter taking its inspiration more from people like Carl Sagan than H.P. Lovecraft. But fundamentally a Cosmist agrees with the Satanist that we live in a dark universe, and sees in the event horizon of the black hole the true face of the Lord of this Universe.
If you find these ideas interesting, I blog about them at seanthemystic.blogspot.com, and have previously blogged about “Right-Hand Path Cosmism” at thecosmist.com.
Hey ! I can dig it. I frequently type ‘Cosmicism’ into a Search Engine, desperately trying to find some real Truth,,, aaahh But alas, there is very little real Truth to be had.
I am surrounded by self deceiving ‘Believers’, who desperately want to live forever ! When they get up on their Pulpit, I ask them this question, \When you meet your very first alien from another part of our Universe, will you ask them, ‘Do you know Jesus ?’?\
Perhaps as humans we all have to accept the possibility of failure, despite our best efforts for self development and improvement of the Will. We can’t always be winners, or use Spirituality to gain everything we want. We invariably come up against disappointment and setbacks.
Incredible, Venger, truly incredible! I have been following the paradigm of the Cthulhu Cult for a little while now, and have read the “Satanic Bible”, both “Cthulhu Cult” and “Liber A:O”, as well as “The Call of Cthulhu” and all of the other works of the Unwitting Prophet, H.P. Lovecraft, and have worked prodigiously to integrate all these influences into my life for the purposes of autonomy, empowerment, and self-deification, but have always encountered certain blockages that I could not explain.
Having read this essay, I now know what my problem is: my identity. Ironically, I have always felt it necessary to do occasional random things that no one expects of me for their own sake and to attempt to break out of any self-defeating mold, but now this all makes sense. Chaos must be distilled to its purest form for it to have any lasting effect on the Left Hand Path practitioner. With great work comes great promise, and with even greater work comes greater reward. It’s all about the journey, not the destination. Of course, the destination is to be equal to Great Cthulhu, so…
Voraxith