Perhaps we should begin with a story…
There was a man who enjoyed fruit. He saw the value of it in his diet, as well as, found certain fruit to be utterly delicious (in this case, bananas, strawberries, and pineapples). In fact, the man bought a smoothie machine so he could suck down all of his favorites at once, each swallow allowing him a full range of the tasty flavors he loved, not to mention the various nutritional benefits inherent to each type of fruit.
The smoothie machine was little more than a glorified blender. It had a large see-through jar at the top. Below, there were several attachments, gears, and even a powerful motor which kept things in order between its blending duties.
On his way home from work, the man went out and purchased a number of his favorite fruits. He washed the fruit he had purchased and began to prepare them for the machine – peeling a banana, cutting the tops off a handful of strawberries, and coring a pineapple.
Once they had been cleaned and prepped, he dumped all of it into the smoothie machine. He turned it on, blades whirring. The fruit was chopped up into a thick puree at the very bottom of the blender jar. Unfortunately, that’s not what he expected, not what he wanted. The man had hoped to drink a tall glass of liquid fruit. What a disappointment, he thought.
Unwilling to accept defeat, the man decided to pour three cups of orange juice into the machine’s transparent container with measurements etched onto its side. Now, orange juice was not one of his favorites. He wouldn’t have even had it in his refrigerator, except that his girlfriend had purchased it the week before. Though not fond of oranges, nor their juice, the man saw the sense of adding it to this particular concoction. In went the orange juice.
He activated the smoothie machine again, watched the mixture vortex. Success! The orange juice gave the jar’s contents volume and fluidity. Inside the clear jar, his fruit smoothie now looked the way he had originally imagined.
Pouring the jar’s contents into a glass, the man marveled at his creation. He took a sip. It tasted superb. In fact, and the man was almost loath to admit it, the orange juice added a special quality which actually enhanced the banana, strawberry, and pineapple flavors.
It was then that the man noticed a quiet hum. The sound was quiet but persistent. Waiting for it to subside proved fruitless (no pun intended).
He took another gulp of the liquified fruit, but felt as though he could not enjoy it properly – not with all that humming going on. Where was it coming from? He had never heard such a hum in his kitchen before. Why didn’t it stop? How could he be expected to enjoy his fruit smoothie with that infernal hum – bothering him, disturbing him, upsetting the delicate scene of relaxation and enjoyment which he believed would go hand in hand with drinking the blended fruit? Merciful God, this was intolerable! It was like the buzzing of some cacophonous demon! Why is this happening to me?
The man put his smoothie down because the noise was so distracting; fully intent on never finishing the liquefied fruit while that accursed hum persisted. As he set the glass upon the countertop, he noticed the smoothie machine was vibrating ever so slightly. Crouching down and putting his ear up to his fancy blender, he noticed the humming suddenly got louder.
Ah-ha! How foolish he had been not to notice, not to suspect his brand new smoothie machine as the culprit. The man laughed at his silly behavior.
Picking the glass up again, he proceeded to enjoy his fruit in the presence of that low, continual hum. In fact, the man was glad to hear it now – the sound was part of the process. Additionally, it had allowed him to observe himself. A valuable lesson indeed! He appreciated that sound on a whole different level. From that moment on, he resolved to not let the little things of life distract or disturb or upset him – though he knew full well that would be a constant struggle.
II.
Life is one thing. Living is another. There is the outside and the inside. Man tries to change life without bothering to alter that which is inside of him. I am not here to advocate living over life, even though I do believe that man’s inner life is more important than whatever is outside of him. That would be as needless as championing substance over illusion. For now, let us assume that both are valuable: the world and esotericism… both are necessary in order to achieve our goals, feel good about ourselves, self-actualize.
To change anything in life, effort is required. Try building a house or running a marathon without it. If such things are self-evident, then why do most people think that making internal change is easy? The macrocosm is a reflection of the microcosm – the outside is not so different than the inside. As above, so below. This Work, the Fourth Way, operates on a cosmic and personal scale. Objective and subjective simultaneously. That is its strength. Balance achieved, which is necessary for the harmonious development of man.
Therefore, if inner change takes effort, then what are we to do? How do we begin our journey? Use the commonsensical skills of house building. Observe before doing anything else. Get a lay of the land. Take stock of who you are, what you have, qualities which are unique to you, and those flaws that feature prominently in your individual psychology. We’re unobservant for a reason – that’s the way we were originally programmed. Observation is difficult, especially self-observation. But we do it because keeping watch serves a purpose. Self-observation creates awareness, which is a necessary step according to our chief goal. That goal is building a house or, at least, constructing some kind of housing which prepares us for Godhood. That part of us which has the potential for divinity must be nurtured and safeguarded so that it might eventually be liberated from this prison. You may think of this housing as a vehicle. Our essence, once fully developed, has things to do and places to go. We are creating a soul that can travel beyond the stars.
Human beings aren’t born with a soul, only a soul seed. Through work on oneself, that seed can grow. Magnetic Center is established, Crystallization forms, and finally (around Man # 6) a soul is created, becoming the medium for our transcendence. With the right knowledge and being, man can move from ordinary to extraordinary in just a few years, assuming he struggles with himself, keeps the sleep-inducing nonsense of life at arm’s length, and realizes that living is not a passive enterprise. The soul is the seed of divinity; without it one cannot become like God.
If an individual does not create his soul in this life, there will be another chance, another life. Whatever energy is you, that part which we call essence, is going to be recycled into a new human being. The cycle repeats until that essence is mature enough to leave our universe. Understanding paves the way. Without understanding, a thousand reincarnations will simply leave the individual right back where he was at the beginning – a soul seed distracted, disturbed, and upset by life.
If this all sounds ridiculous, I’m not surprised. People are so wrapped up in the glossy surface of life that illusion has become real; meanwhile, reality seems more like a strange dream… or nightmare. There is a deeper identity which has nothing to do with what we’re called, how we look, and what others think of us. This essential self is a hidden thing, inactive, shadowed like a seed planted in darkness, waiting to break free like the Great Old Ones!
What we normally think of as our identity is part of a machine driven by surface will, false will. The everyday self is unconcerned with the fundamental aspects of the cosmos and his role within it. The everyday self wants material things, wants to impress other people, wants to be comfortable – and hates it when those things are temporarily out of reach. That is false will – momentary desire for trivial things. All of that is in opposition to true will. True will is beneath the surface, it is hard to see and even harder to hold… but grasp for it we must. True will is a force that would gladly see everything destroyed so long as the primal self flourishes because primal self is connected to our deific conversion.
The deeper identity or primal self recognizes the importance of certain things. This deep self moves towards the ultimate aim – the only thing worth striving for in this brightly colored circus of suffering. All progress radiates from a singular aspiration: Self-Deification, the journey towards Godhood. Such a process is much different, of course, than believing oneself to already be God. The idea that one is perfect from the start is just as harmful as the idea that one can evolve without an ounce of effort.
The process of Self-Deification has been available since the origins of man, handed (or tentacled, if you prefer) down to us by the Ancient Ones. Within the confines of this essay, it doesn’t matter how Homosapiens came to be or why. The crux of my message is that man can have purpose. Meaning potentially exists for him, for all of us. There are measures we can take in order to progress just as there are numerous roads to failure. Wipe away our mechanical aspects and there is hope. If only it was as easy as wiping a smudged window. It isn’t. Self-improvement is a daily struggle, often a thankless task, fraught with peril, and demanding super-efforts.
Isolated, it’s too easy to slack off, or worse, give up. Working with others helps. If one could form an ongoing collective framework for teaching this Work on multiple levels, then real change would be possible – true will manifested. What we’re talking about is a school. Good news, such schools already exist. The Cult of Cthulhu is one of them. We saturated the Fourth Way in Lovecraftian green slime, ensconced it within the Left Hand Path. Our viridescent teaching is dedicated to making progress – all the way up the ladder to those ineffable heights and depths which are only accessible via the hideous paradise of a yawning abyss. Our school is unique but the esoteric lore upon which it’s based is universal.
III.
How does one begin to change one’s life? Let’s say I wanted to pull a Tyler Durden (if you haven’t seen Fight Club, then watch it right after you finish reading this essay). For starters, is it possible? Yes, of course it is. Millions of people are making substantive, beneficial, and sustainable changes every year. They’re usually small changes, but changes nonetheless. That’s progress, that’s real. I applaud those people because it’s not easy.
What makes life changes so difficult (and I’m sure Tyler Durden can attest to its arduous nature) is that one cannot get from his starting point to his ending point by simply walking a straight line. There are curves; dangerous twists and turns which make us feel like we’re going backwards half the time – and the other half like we’re careening into a minefield. Serious life changes usually happen by accident. Purposefully, because such change is deliberate, but the steps we take do not feel planned. Almost as if our will had a consciousness of its own, sending us into the dark of an unknown path towards a promised destination. That takes a certain amount of faith… to begin a journey in total darkness.
Without that kind of deep change, we take the Work as a fairy tale rather than a detailed instruction manual for self-improvement. Imagine a chessboard, but instead of moving the pieces, we only manipulate the dust and little bits of debris around the Rook, Bishop, Queen, etc. No progress there, nothing learned, nothing accomplished. Might as well toss all the pieces in a box, fold up the board, and go home.
Need help changing your life? Forcing those kinds of life changes upon you which have substance, benefit, and sustain is part of the Cthulhu Cult’s emerald discipline. Yes, we have the psychological technology to help you – if you help us. That’s how it works. You get out what you put in. I offer value in the form of this essay… you give me comments and feedback, sharing the link with friends. Mutual assistance is key. Ask yourself, do you want to be part of something larger than yourself… something as insanely ambitious as becoming God? If that answer is yes, then get in touch with us. There are high, medial, and entry level positions available within the Cult of Cthulhu. I intend to see them filled by May Eve, 2012. If you intend to seek a degree within our blasphemous religion, then all my luck and the favor of Yog-Sothoth’s unhallowed spheres be with you.
Awake!
Venger As’Nas Satanis
Ipsissimus
Cult of Cthulhu
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Very nice, Venger! An excellent from-the-bottom-up description of self betterment and the path of the Cult of Cthulhu. It has a completeness that is helpful to re-read to make sure you’re not forgetting some part of the process along the way. Especially, for me, the reminder that the process often feels like going nowhere or moving backwards. Forgetting that can easily put you back a few steps with a lowered morale.
Also a great intro to the Work. Probably saved quite a few people a lot of time with Ouspensky trying to get the gist!
IA! Direct, informative, powerful. Trust your Will, but don’t be distracted by temporary desires.
Take a moment, and try to experience it with all five senses; awake!
The story ties it in well, and a great lesson in that. We cannot be consumed with our desires to the point, where we stop noticing the smaller things in life, for they are what makes life beautiful. Passions are obtained through the hard work, but also the lessons in the little things. There is a lesson in everything in life, don’t ignore it. The smallest lesson might just be the most critical to your well-being.
How true! What a unique way to express the point. So many people are disillusioned. So many “sheeple” follow politics as the new religion, worship an idea rather than how things really are. Very well done.
Venger,
Very interesting! And I like it. It makes so much sense. It’s a combination of a lot of things. Thanks.
Venger does a great job with his teaching. Thumbs up!
You are an inspiration and a wonderful model for the Cultist.
Again I say I do not know anything at all about it, which is probably why I am making it the subject of this narrative. It is true that I have been for 18 years his closest friend and that we have been seen by reputable witnesses near Greenwood, NY, Sleepy Hollow by the Hudson, Mt. Auburn, Cambridge, Mass., and Grant’s Tomb, Manhattan, but that we possessed tastes mutually morbid or a predilection for graveyards I must strenuously deny.
Excellent essay, Brother Satanis! I cannot believe I had not read this one before! The goals you have set for yourself and us all are ambitious, but ambition is needed to evolve and Awaken! When I first came to the Cult a few years ago, I was not ready to do the Work; I thought I was, but soon discovered I had tried to bite off way more than I could chew. Returning now, I realize the experiences I had in the interim were necessary to bring me to the place where I could embrace the Way and do the Work! Thanks for the inspiration and the model, Brother!